Happy Thanksgiving!

I just wanted to pop in really quickly and wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving (to all who celebrate). I love this holiday because it’s a time for me to reflect on everything I am thankful for in my life, although that is something I try very hard to do all year long. I am so thankful for all of the wonderful blessings I have in my life, including my family, my good health, and my blog and those who read it!

I slept in this morning, which isn’t something I usually allow myself to do, but it was wonderful. I am going to be spending the day watching parades on TV, helping my mama in the kitchen, and enjoying time with my family. Even though my entire family can’t be together this year, I am thankful that I can spend the holiday with my mom and sister. And no matter how far away my family is, I know that we will always be close. So whether your family is near or far, I hope you enjoy the holiday! Have a wonderful day, everyone!!!

What are you most thankful for?

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Quick Post (and Pictures)

Hey guys! I can’t believe I haven’t posted in a few weeks. I kept meaning to post, but school has been keeping me busy. Only one more day left this week, then next week is my last week of classes, and then I have finals. The semester went so fast! Even though I’ve been busy with school, I have managed to do a few fun things. Here are some pictures:

Last Sunday, my mom, sister and I went to a farmer’s market at a local park. I didn’t end up getting anything, but it was fun just walking around!

Ducks! Aren’t the little chicks adorable?!?

After the farmer’s market, we stopped at a little cafe to sit outside in the sunshine and eat dessert. I got banana cake, and my sister got a coconut one!

The temperatures here have been getting kind of chilly here this past week (especially at night), so we lit the fireplace. I love fireplaces. They are just so cozy!

Last night, I spent the evening watching the AMA’s with my sister (even though I should’ve probably been working on homework…) Did anyone else watch? Some of the performances were kinda crazy, but I was totally surprised (and impressed!) by Pink’s performance! Her dance was absolutely beautiful, and she looked amazing. I think Pink is a great example for girls and women. She isn’t stick-thin like a lot of celebrities, but she is STRONG and I think she looks wonderful. And can you believe she just had a baby too?!? Here’s a link to the video in case you missed it: http://popcrush.com/pink-try-performance-2012-american-music-awards/

Dancing with the Stars is on tonight, so I think I’m going to go watch that for a bit! Only one day left of school this week, and then I’m off for Thanksgiving break. I hope everyone is having a great night!

Halloween Recap and Some Personal Stuff

Happy Saturday, everyone! How was your Halloween? Unfortunately, I was swamped with homework on Wednesday, so I didn’t get to partake in any Halloween festivities. I did carve pumpkins last weekend though! My sister, Emily, is here visiting and will be here until December, when she and I fly back up north to be with my dad for Christmas. Emily graduated high school last year, but wasn’t sure what to do as far as college was concerned so she decided to take a year off (I did the same thing). I am just so happy that she is here with me! My sisters are my best friends.

The pumpkins Emily and I carved. Em’s is the cat on the left, and mine is the monkey on the right. (By the way, we used patterns…I am definitely NOT that skilled).

And even though I didn’t get to dress up, my mom and sister dressed up as hippies to give out candy haha. And my dog, Macy, dressed up too!

Macy was a hot dog for Halloween! Not very original, I know. This picture was actually from a few years ago, but she wore the same exact costume this year!

Just a warning in advance, the rest of this post is going to be kind of serious. I don’t want to make this blog a place where I pour out all of my negative thoughts, but I want to be honest about where I’m at in my life, and right now, I’m not doing so good. As I mentioned before, I’ve been super busy with school this week. I had two big tests to study for, tons of assignments due, and I had to meet with my advisor about scheduling for next semester. Actually, I’ve been pretty busy this whole semester. And unfortunately, I’ve been neglecting my health.

My weight is down pretty low, about at the point I had to go inpatient when I was 17 years old. I haven’t done this intentionally. I feel like I haven’t even noticed myself slipping until now. Maybe I’ve been too busy with school to notice or maybe I just didn’t want to admit I was slipping, bu my mom and sister have really brought this to my attention. They are worried and scared for me. And to be honest, I am really scared too.

I want to make it clear that I am eating. I have been doing the best I can with making sure I eat at least 5 or 6 times per day. I try to eat smaller portions more often because my stomach has a difficult time handling much food. Which brings me to something else that’s been worrying me lately; my stomach problems. I have had a very nervous stomach for years. I don’t always have excrutiating pain, but it never feels good. I always feel so bloated and full, and never have much of an appetite. And I’ve been dealing with constipation too, which is just miserable. This past week, I have seen bright red blood in my stool (sorry, TMI I know), and my mom and I are both really worried. She wants me to schedule an appointment with a gastroenterologist, but I am afraid they will recommend a colonoscopy, which I am terrified to have done. But I am also terrified that something is wrong with me.

So all of this just has me really afraid. I know that I need to make some big changes in my life and start taking better care of myself. I know I need to pick it up with my eating and start gaining weight, otherwise I may need to ask for extra help. I don’t want to go inpatient, but if that’s what it’s going to take, I may have to consider it. And even though my stomach is causing me a lot of distress, I cannot use that as an excuse to not gain weight.

I am really sorry this post wasn’t very uplifting, but I wanted to be honest and get my feelings out there. Thank you if you read through all of that. Hopefully my next post will be a little happier. Have a great weekend, everyone.